In my mind I am constantly writing but sometimes the sitting down and making my fingers move takes a little too much effort.
I now have been back for almost one month and people keep asking me if I’ve found a job yet, no I haven’t and I’m not looking, remember I have until March. I am taking steps towards the whole job thing, I am about 1/3 of the way through writing a resume and my sister e-mails me about ten job postings a day.
I finally realized this weekend that one of the reasons that I have been so unmotivated to do anything is that it is cold and dark. Every time I walk in my bedroom I get depressed and have to return to the living room where there is light and a fire. Now that I have come to this realization I can modify my behavior some, by taking steps to turn on the heater and open my blinds. The transformation is incredible.
Even though I’m not working I’m still coming up with things to do. I went to Memphis over New Year’s, that was nice. I don’t really have any friends so they don’t take up much of my time. I’ve mostly just been baby-sitting, or hanging out with people that share my last name.
My car is insured now so potentially I can leave the house. Unfortunately the mostly likely thing to do is go shopping and that is highly overwhelming, first of all there are too many options and desirable things, second of all, contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually have money to spend. Even when I attempt to simplify my life people like Danny and the Verizon store are so pushy that I crack under pressure and end up buying things much more deluxe than necessary.
Last week I went to the optometrist to get my eyes checked and get new reading glasses because I lost mine. I don’t like it when people put their perceptions of my generation onto me. After he told me that I’d better not answer my phone and try to set up any hot lunch dates during my appointment he told me that I must have lost my glasses at a drunken party. Really, who loses their reading glasses at a drunken party.
Well, this might sound more depressing than I intended, sorry about that I really do like being back and Trader Joe’s Greek Style Yogurt.
2 comments:
You can come down to Albuquerque anytime you want. please. or over spring break, we could meet in Southern Cali, my tentative plan is to go there. keep it in mind-- march 21 and on.
ah, transition.
i know that saying that "God has a plan" or "He knows what He's doing" is ridiculously cliche...so i wouldn't even mention it except that it's so very true :)
love c
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